Bande d’Hypocrites

 

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Me, Myself and The Premier League

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La Ligue 1 a peut-être repris ses droits le weekend dernier but for me football season officially starts when the Premier League season gets underway. This season looks particularly exciting and promising with all the changes that went on during the offseason (and will probably go on until the end of the summer transfer window on August 31st). As an avid football fan, every year, I go into the season asking myself  which player is going to be MVP, which team is going to win the title…This year is no exception, so here goes my list of questions (in no particular order):

  •  Will Man Utd trash Swansea in the season opener or will Bafetimbi Gomis fresh off Lyon show that cheap (Swansea got him for free ) doesn’t mean less quality?
  • Can Louis Van Gaal A.k.A, the “Iron Tulip” get the Red Devils back to the top?
  • Is Alexis Sanchez just an overhyped liga reject or the real deal? I believe he is the real deal, fingers crossed, he won’t disappoint
  • What to expect from Arsene Wenger’s men?
  • Chelsea, with Diego Costa, Cesc Fabregas, Eden Hazard, Luis Felipe, Oscar and the plethora of stars is most definitely the team to beat on paper but is this the year of the “treble” ?
  • Will Man City “three peat”?
  • Is Lukaku really, seriously worth £28 Million?
  • Is Liverpool really over last season’s “disappointing” finale and ready for another crazy title run?
  • Of the three new teams, which will do better than the others?  I really like Harry Redknapp, my money is on QPR.
  • Which team ,that I enjoy watching , will battle for a relegation spot this year and break my heart? There’s always one team that I like that gets stuck in the zone.
  • Will Jose Mourinho stop all shenanigans when Chelsea play Man Utd? He did promise no mind games when playing his good old friend Louis. I guess the question I should be asking is: will “the only one” keep his promise?

Last but not least, is this the year that I’ll finally decide to put my football knowledge to good use and drag my ass to a Ladbrokes? I heard some people be making some serious dinero with their knowledge of “the beautiful game”.

Only in La la land

selfie
… will you hear of someone coming up with the idea of a selfie book. A big book overflowing with selfies titled Selfish . who else but our beloved Princess Kim (Khloe voice) could come up with such a genius idea ? “Mommager” Kris Jenner definitely has more than one ace up her sleeve – just look at the empire she created from… a sex tape. However, this new move by Kimmy Cakes is on a whole other level. This is some serious Yeezus inspired isht!

I’ll say this though, thank you Kim for showing us that there’s no such thing as a bad idea. Let’s just put it this way, if half of her 17.448.802 Instagram followers bought her book at $19.95…Ohlala, j’ai déjà la flaime de calculer le total! But you already know it’s some serious moolah coming the Kardashian-West way !

The only reason why I don’t plan on buying the book (well, maybe not the sole reason) is because my coffee table is definitely not worthy of Mrs. West’s chef d’oeuvre. I mean 352 pages of badonkadonk and face action, très peu pour moi, I’ll pass.

Now, if I could just find the courage to exploit my creative genius as fearlessly as Kimmy Cakes, I’d be doing the “money dance” every night before going to bed.

It Ain’t Hard To Tell

Verse 1

It ain’t hard to tell, I excel, then prevail
The mic is contacted, I attract clientele
My mic check is life or death, breathin a sniper’s breath
I exhale the yellow smoke of buddha through righteous steps
Deep like The Shinin’, sparkle like a diamond
Sneak a uzi on the island in my army jacket linin
Hit the Earth like a comet, invasion
Nas is like the Afrocentric Asian, half-man, half-amazin
Cause in my physical, I can express through song
Delete stress like Motrin, then extend strong
I drank Moet with Medusa, give her shotguns in hell
From the spliff that I lift and inhale, it ain’t hard to tell

Verse 2

The buddha monk’s in your trunk, turn the bass up
Not stories by Aesop, place your loot up, parties I shoot up
Nas, I analyze, drop a jew-el, inhale from the L
School a fool well, you feel it like braille
It ain’t hard to tell, I kick a skill like Shaquille holds a pill
Vocabulary spills I’m Ill
plus Matic, I freak beats slam it like Iron Sheik
Jam like a tech with correct techniques
So analyze me, surprise me, but can’t magmatize me
Scannin’ while you’re plannin’ ways to sabotage me
I leave ’em froze like her-on in your nose
Nas’ll rock well, it ain’t hard to tell

Verse 3

This rhythmatic explosion, is what your frame of mind has chosen
I’ll leave your brain stimulated, niggaz is frozen
Speak with criminal slang, begin like a violin
End like Leviathan, it’s deep well let me try again
Wisdom be leakin out my grapefruit troop
I dominate break loops, givin’ mics men-e-straul cycles
Street’s disciple, I rock beats that’s mega trifle
And groovy but smoother than moves by Villanova
You’re still a soldier, I’m like Sly Stone in Cobra
Packin like a rasta in the weed spot
Vocals’ll squeeze glocks, MC’s eavesdrop
Though they need not to sneak
My poetry’s deep, I never fell
Nas’s raps should be locked in a cell
It ain’t hard to tell

—Nasir bin Olu Dara Jones aka Nas

Middle Child Syndrome

Nooooooooooooooo!!! So, #meandmyhomegirl have been talking about this a lot lately and we’ve come to the conclusion that we definitely suffer from this thing called Middle Child Syndrome! Basically, MCS is characterized by the feeling of being neglected, not fitting in, and having a general negative outlook on life. According to studies conducted by Stanford University, we are the green-eyed, bland, boring little monsters of the group a.k.a le canard boiteux de la famille. Balivernes!
The Power of Middle Children written by Catherine Salmon and Katrin Schuman, tries to rectify these misconceptions about us and show us how to control and exploit the abilities we have developed due to our birth order. We’ve listed a few below we think are most relevant:

  1. Flexiblity – because we’re sandwiched between the adored eldest and the spoiled youngest, we must fight to get what’s ours. From this comes our open-mindedness and taste for new things. We are original thinkers, artists in our own way, free-spirits of the family.
  2. Independence – From an early age we are given less attention (the other two hog it all!) and as a result we are very much capable of taking care of ourselves! [Warning: our negotiating skills are mind-blowing]
  3. Motivation – for the most part, parents have a tendency of putting all the pressure to succeed on the eldest child, leaving the middle enough time to come up with a well-thought out plan for his/her future. Our innovative thinking makes us great team leaders – see Bill Gates, Benjamin Franklin, Dalai Lama.

All Hail the Middle Child !!!

Hommage a un Grand Homme

Thank you for all the uncontrollable laughs and the greatest childhood memories.

“Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some get it as a graduation gift” – Robin Williams

 

Stan Sunday

Une fois n’est pas coutume, it’s a rainy Sunday in our beloved city of Brussels and what better way to spend such a day than a little walk down memory lane…

ps: inspiré du personnage du clip, le mot “Stan” est, aujourd’hui utilisé pour définir un(e) admirateur(trice) un peu trop enthousiaste!!

STAN= stalker + fan